


Vices and Virtues

by syzygy_mellifluous



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Kinda Fluffy, Nudity but nothing descriptive, Skinny Dipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24273895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syzygy_mellifluous/pseuds/syzygy_mellifluous
Summary: The last thing that Kristoff expected Anna to do after a night of heavy drinking was to go skinny dipping. But, as always, Anna keeps him on his toes.
Relationships: Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Vices and Virtues

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I don’t really know where this came from. I made the mistake of telling my friend that I started writing again, and she asked if she could send me a prompt. I agreed, and received the following: “drunk + skinny dipping + adult peek-a-boo + next morning.” In addition, she sent me a few other other suggestions/quotes. So.....yeah. This came out of it and I don’t really know how to feel about it. My friend was thrilled with it, somehow, and encouraged me to post it so here it is, I guess. I hope you like it!

Kristoff didn’t want to go to the party. He really, truly didn’t. He hated this type of party in particular - a house party in the middle of summer; alcohol; drugs; hook-ups; genuine stupidity. But Anna had begged him to go and he couldn’t just say no to her, even though he knew it meant he would end up babysitting her until she got home safely. And that was exactly what happened; Anna had fun and drank her body weight in alcohol while he followed her around like a lost puppy. Rather, Anna dragged him around by the hand, but he still felt out of place. He didn’t really know anyone there and he wasn’t in the mood to get to know anyone. 

When the party fizzled around two in the morning, his sole focus was to get Anna home safely so he could go to bed. He debated bringing her back to his apartment so he could keep an eye on her, until he remembered that she took most of her stuff home last time she stayed over. So, he decided that bringing her home and making sure she got to bed was the best plan.

It was a struggle to get her to leave the party, despite the fact that it was over. He practically had to carry her out and push her into his car because she was resisting, but he felt the slightest bit of triumph when he buckled her in and she stopped fighting it.

“Are we going to McDonald’s?” She slurred as soon as he climbed into the driver’s side.

“Afraid not,” he muttered as he started the car.

“Aw come on!” She giggled, grabbing his right arm with both of her hands. “Don’t you want a burger?”

“No,” he answered, shaking his head. “I don’t.”

She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest as he began the drive back to her house. After a minute of driving, she perked up. “Taco Bell?”

“No, ma’am.”

“How about pizza?”

“Nope.”

“Kristoff, you’re such a buzzkill,” she said, rolling her eyes, though a huge smile was plastered across her face. 

“You could say that again,” he agreed. 

“Where are we going?” She asked, looking out the window. “Ooh are we going to the beach?!”

“It’s too late to go to the beach. I’m taking you home.”

She scrunched up her face. “Aww, why?” 

“Because I’m tired and I want to go home, so that means I have to make sure you get home first,” he explained, though it seemed pointless. She was drunk off her ass and she was going to argue with everything he said.

“But I don’t wanna go home,” she whined.

“I know,” he sighed. “But you have to.”

“No! I don’t have to! Let’s go bowling!”

“Anna.”

“What?”

“We can go bowling some other time. It's almost three in the morning.”

“So?” She asked, incredulously. 

“So, you should be going to bed, not continuing to party.”

“But partying is fun! I can sleep when I’m dead,” she grinned.

“You can, but I can’t. I’m really tired, it’s been a long day,” he griped.

“Why do you hate spending time with me?”

He took his eyes off the road for a split second to glare at her. “You know that’s not true.”

She pouted again. “You didn’t want to come to the party.”

“I went, though. Even though I hate parties like that, I still went.”

“Why?”

He sighed, turning onto her street. “Because you wanted me to.”

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “You’re the best!”

“Thank you,” he said, parking the car in front of her house. “And, now you’re home.”

“No!” She protested. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside and off to bed,” he said as he cut the engine. 

“I have a better idea,” she remarked as she hastily unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out of the car.

“Oh crap,” he muttered to himself, afraid she was going to take off running down the street.

Instead, she wobbly approached her front door, nearly losing her balance several times. He followed behind her as she dug through her purse for her key and let herself into the house. A sense of relief washed over him, until she walked right past the staircase and towards the backdoor.

“What are you doing?!” He whispered loudly.

“I’m going in the pool!” She yelled back and he winced.

“Anna, you have to be quiet, your sister is sleeping,” he said in a low voice, grabbing her by the arm. “And you can’t go swimming now, it’s late!”

She pulled her arm back and looked at him defiantly as if he were challenging her. “Oh yeah? Watch me.”

He groaned as she carelessly tossed her purse on the floor, marched to the back door, unlocked it, and slid it open. He followed behind her, closing the door behind him. The backyard was illuminated by solar lanterns; he was grateful that he wouldn’t have to search for a light source.

“You aren’t even wearing your bathing suit,” he called after her. “You’re going to ruin your dress.”

She stopped mid-stride to turn back toward him. “Who said I’m keeping the dress on?” 

Her pause gave him enough time to catch up with her. “Can’t you go swimming tomorrow instead?”

“Nope, I’m going in now,” she smiled. “You can leave if you want, or you can stay.”

He knew he didn’t have a choice at that point. He didn’t want her to drown or something because she was definitely not in the right state of mind to be left unsupervised in a body of water. He plopped down on a pool chair as she kicked off her shoes, and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe she was doing this, and yet, he wasn’t surprised. He was muttering to himself when he heard a giggle and something hit him in the head.

“What was that for?” He asked a little too loudly.

More giggling. “That was my bra!”

She couldn’t walk straight, yet she somehow managed to throw something and _actually_ hit him. “But why did you throw it at me?”

“Souvenir! You can keep it!”

He sighed. “That’s awfully nice of you, but I think you’ll get more use out of it than I will.”

“But I don’t really need it and I want _you_ to have it. So you’ll think of me!”

He shook his head; he didn’t even know how to respond to that. A second later, he heard a splash and looked in her direction. 

“Are you coming in?” She called. 

“Are you crazy?”

“A little,” she giggled. “You should come in, though!”

“You should be a little quieter because your neighbors are sleeping.”

“Are you gonna come in?” She repeated.

“No, I’m not. I don’t have my bathing suit and it’s really late.”

“You don’t need a bathing suit, silly. I’m not wearing one.”

“I’m aware,” he muttered, scooping her discarded bra off the ground and tossing it onto the chair next to him.

She swam up to where he was sitting and leaned over the edge of the pool, crossing her arms and resting her head on them. “The water is really nice.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“You should come in,” she said, giving him a sweet smile. 

He felt like a broken record. “I already told you that I’m not coming in.”

“Please,” she begged, biting her lip and batting her eyes.

“No, Anna, I’ll swim with you some other time. Preferably when you’re sober, it’s daylight, and we’re both wearing bathing suits.”

“So you aren’t turned on right now?” She winked.

He shot a disapproving glance at her. “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t drown.”

“The best way to make sure I don’t drown is to join me.”

“I’m fine right here.”

“Oh no,” she said dramatically, releasing her grasp from the ledge. She pinched her nose and ducked underwater for a few seconds before reemerging. “I think I’m drowning.”

He heaved a sigh. “You’re not, though.”

She disappeared under water again and then popped back up. “Yes I am, save me!”

“Anna, stop.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Party pooper!”

“Why is it fun to fake drowning?”

“Because it means you’ll get in the pool!”

“But I can tell that you’re faking, which means that I _won’t_ get in the pool.”

She gasped. “So I’d have to _really_ drown for you to come in?”

He decided that it would be better to ignore her question and change the subject. “How much longer do you plan on staying in there?”

“Until sunrise! I’ve never watched the sunrise from the pool.”

He squeezed his eyes closed. “A normal person wouldn’t be watching the sunrise from the pool. They’d be asleep, in their bed.”

“Who said I was a normal person?”

“You, actually - whenever you do something weird, you insist that you’re normal.”

“That doesn’t sound right; normal is boring,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

“I agree, to an extent. I think being in bed at ungodly hours is non-negotiable, though.”

She grinned. “I disagree.”

“Of course you do,” he sighed.

“It’s really fun to be awake when everyone else is asleep. It’s like we're...vampires!”

“That explains why I feel dead, I guess.”

She let out a boisterous laugh. “You’re so funny, Kristoff!”

“I’m glad I amuse you,” he said, huffing a laugh of his own. He had to admit, her laughter wascontagious.

“You always make me laugh! Especially with your - whatyamacallit? Like when you’re trying to be mean but it’s also funny? It starts with an ‘s’.”

“Sarcasm?”

“Yeah, that!” She exclaimed, nodding her head. “You mostly do it when you’re grumpy, though - like right now.”

“I’m only grumpy because I’m tired,” he pointed out. “Just like how you get grumpy when you haven’t gotten enough sleep.”

Her mouth fell open. “I do not!”

“Yes, you do. You hate being woken up in the morning.”

She tried to cross her arms over her chest, but then realized she needed them to stay afloat. “That’s not true.”

He raised his eyebrows. “So, you’re telling me that you’re a perfect angel one hundred percent of the time? Always in a good mood, never tries to argue with anyone, and loves getting up in the morning?”

She nodded once, closing her eyes. “Yup.”

“Then you’re definitely not drunk right now.”

“Nope.”

He smirked. “Alright, so you should get out of the pool.”

“No, I don’t want to.”

“I thought that you never argue with anyone?” 

She narrowed her eyes, playfully accepting his challenge. “We’re not arguing.”

“So what, exactly, would you call it?”

“You trying to boss me around.”

He laughed and pointed at himself. “I’m the bossy one?”

“Mhmm.”

“You do realize you’ve got me under your thumb, right? Not like, in an authoritarian way or anything, but just in an ‘I’d do anything for you’ type of way.”

Her eyes softened. “I’d do anything for you, too.”

Clearly, she’d missed the point. “I know, but - you know what, never mind. We can talk about it some other time. Look, I’m gonna run inside and get you a towel, okay? Please stay in the shallow end until I come back,” he begged.

“Okay, daddy,” she giggled, swimming towards the shallow end of the pool.

“Please don’t call me that,” he shuddered. He stood up and ventured quietly into the house. He knew he had to go to the upstairs bathroom to find a towel, and he wanted to do so as quietly as possible so Elsa wouldn’t wake up. But he also had to find one quickly, because he didn’t want to leave Anna unsupervised in the pool for long. He tiptoed up the stairs and into the bathroom, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw a pile of towels lying on the floor. He grabbed one and then went straight back to the yard, wishing that he’d had the sense to grab her a change of clothes while he was up there. Luckily, Anna had followed his directions and was wading in the shallow end of the pool.

Her face lit up when she saw him. “There you are!”

He held out the towel. “Ready to get out?”

She shook her head. “Uh-uh.”

“Please, Anna? I want to go home and go to sleep.” He'd already decided that he would, in fact, be staying. He just wasn't planning on telling Anna that. 

“No! I want you to stay with me because I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he promised. 

“Ooh," she said, changing the subject. "Let’s play a game!”

“Let’s not and say we did.”

“The game is called peek-a-boo -”

Afraid of where this was leading, he cut her off. “I sure hope you mean the game you play with _babies_.”

She laughed. “Oh, no, so it goes like this,” she explained, standing up so the upper half of her body was out of the water. She placed a hand over each breast. “You say peek-a-boo, and then I move my hands!”

“That’s called _flashing_ ,” he corrected. 

“Just say the magic word and I’ll move my hands.”

“I told you that I don’t want to play.”

She dropped her hands in favor of splashing him. He jumped back to avoid getting wet, but wasn’t completely successful. “Ha, got you!” She cheered.

He frowned. “I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t want to get wet.”

“If you want me to get out, then you’ll have to come get me,” she teased, swimming toward the middle of the pool.

He knew he was going to have to get creative if he wanted her to get out on her own accord. He walked along the edge of the pool, and glanced down at his watch. “Well, I shouldn’t stay that much later, so if you want to stay in the pool, I can always go wake up Elsa and ask her to come hang out with you.”

“No!” She exclaimed nervously. “She’ll get mad!”

“Why on earth would she get mad?” He asked, feigning innocence. He knew Elsa’s mood would land somewhere between indifferent and livid if he had actually planned to wake her up.

“Because she doesn’t like it when I have fun!” She cried, swimming toward him.

He crouched down. “The choice is yours, then.”

She gave him a sneaky grin and reached up, grabbing his ankle and pulling it toward her. Because she didn’t have the strength necessary to pull him in, instead of falling into the pool, like she had planned, he lost his balance and fell backwards.

“What was that for?!” He snapped. 

“I’m pretending to be a siren,” she giggled. 

“Siren’s don’t physically pull the men they’re luring into water,” he pointed out. “They sing to them.”

“I can sing to you!” She yelled. “ _My neck, my back, lick my_ -”

He grimaced, recognizing the song from the party, and cut her off mid-sentence. “Please, stop.” 

She bobbed her head back and forth. “This one is dedicated to you; maybe you’ll _finally_ get the hint. _Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don’t you_ -”

“Anna, you are my girlfriend.”

“I am?” She simultaneously looked delighted and confused.

“Yeah, for the last _two years_ ,” he said. “Remember?”

She made a face like she was deep in thought. After a moment she perked up. “Yes! You’re my sweetie. And you wouldn’t say that you love me if I wasn’t your girlfriend. How could I be so silly?”

“I dunno, but a shit-ton of alcohol may be your answer.”

There was a brief moment where they were both quiet, and then she spoke up. “If we’ve been together for so long, how come we don’t live together?”

“Because the managers at my apartment wouldn’t let me add you to the lease and you can’t move in unless your name is on it.”

She gasped. “That’s not fair! Don’t they know that I love you and we should live together?”

“They don’t care. But, once the lease is up, we’re going to get an apartment together.”

“That’s so exciting! I can’t wait until I can live with you,” she said, her face lighting up.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I can’t wait, either.”

She smiled sneakily then. “So you said you love me, right?”

“Yes, I did. I do.”

“Well I think that you should come over here and _show me_ how much you love me,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at him. 

“Anna,” he warned.

“Kristoff,” she replied, in a sing-song voice, drawing out the last syllable. 

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re drunk! You didn’t even know that I was your boyfriend, like two minutes ago, and now you want me to have sex with you?”

She nodded. “Yeah,” she answered, nonchalantly. 

“You are absolutely not in the right state of mind to be making decisions like that.”

“And what proof do you have of that?”

“How about the fact that _it’s four o’clock in the morning and you’re completely naked in the pool_.”

She didn’t answer, but merely squinted at him. 

“Anna, I am literally begging you, _please get out of the pool_ ,” he pleaded, sounding desperate. 

She quirked an eyebrow. “What will happen if I don’t?”

“I’m going to have to leave and I don’t know if I can come back,” he lied, looking away.

Her jaw dropped. “Ever again?”

“You tell me,” he shrugged. 

“But I don’t want you to leave! I want you to stay forever.”

“Then you’re going to have to come out of there.” 

She frowned, hesitating for a moment, before she finally gave in and swam back toward the shallow end of the pool. He held his breath as he followed her, afraid that she would change her mind and he’d have to start all over again. But, she followed through and emerged from the pool, accepting the towel from his hand and wrapping it around her body. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently led her over to one of the lounge chairs, and gingerly pushed her downwards so she’d sit on it. He sat on the one next to hers and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are you going to stay?” She whispered.

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to stay.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, I'm not mad,” he assured her. “I was never mad. A little grumpy, like you said earlier, but that’s just because I’m exhausted.”

“Why are you so tired?”

“Because I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours.”

Her jaw dropped open again. “Oh, no! You should sleep!”

“You’re preaching to the choir, baby,” he chuckled. “But I can’t go to sleep until you’re upstairs in bed.”

“Yes, you can,” she said, jumping up. Holding the towel with one hand, she reclined the back portion of the chair so it was leaning at a wide angle and guided him backwards so his shoulders were pressed against the back of it. Then, she picked up his legs, one at a time, and set them down so he was laying down instead of sitting up.

“What is this going to accomplish?”

“Now you can sleep!”

He laughed. “I prefer sleeping in a bed, under a roof. Unless we’re camping.”

Her face lit up. “This is just like camping.”

A moment later, she was climbing on top of him, curling up her legs by his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. _So much for not getting wet_ , he thought, as he instinctively wrapped his arm around her and rested his other hand on her outer thigh. He was trapped now, for sure. Though he had the physical strength to lift her up and carry her to her room, he was certain that he would be unable to build the momentum to get them both off the chair successfully. 

“So we’re staying out here tonight, I guess,” he remarked.

She nodded against him, her wet hair tickling his upper arm. “I think I’m tired, now.”

“You should sleep,” he murmured. She smelled like chlorine and vodka. 

“I should’ve listened to you sooner. I’m sorry for being difficult.”

“You know I love your stubbornness. And I really hope you know that I wasn’t angry at you, at any point. Sometimes I worry that I come off as horrible or demanding.”

She frowned. “You don’t, and I know that it was all coming from a good place. Plus, I wasn’t making it any easier for you.”

“It’s okay - we all have our moments. Alcohol makes us all a little crazy.”

“But I tried to _pull you into the pool_.”

“You didn’t succeed,” he chuckled; it was clear that she was sobering up and was starting to feel remorseful. “That was a losing battle, baby.”

“And I pretended to drown.”

“Luckily, I can tell fake drowning from real drowning.” 

“I took off all my clothes and tried to flash you.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“And I threw my bra at you,” she added. 

“That was actually impressive; I still don’t know how you managed to hit me.”

“Were you really going to leave?” She asked. “If I didn’t get out?”

“No,” he shook his head, squeezing her a little tighter. “I mean - I _did_ want to go home and go to bed when we first got here. But staying with you is better.” 

“I’m glad you stayed,” she said, nuzzling her face into his neck. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always,” he promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

For a few minutes, the world was quiet. He closed his own eyes, hoping that she’d fallen asleep.

“Kristoff?” She whispered.

“Hmm?”

“We should get married.”

He opened his eyes and looked down at her. “We will.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

She leaned up and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he promised, before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

He awoke a few hours later to something tapping his shoulder. He opened his eyes, squinting in the bright sunlight and saw Elsa standing above him. He lifted his head up, feeling a distinct achiness in his neck from the way he slept.

“What happened?” She asked. 

“Fell asleep out here,” he muttered, throwing his hand over his eyes to block out the sun. 

“I was worried sick when I woke up this morning and Anna wasn’t in her room,” she explained. “She always texts me if she’s staying with you for the night, but then I saw your car out front and her purse on the floor. I almost called the cops.”

He dragged his hand away from his face. “Trust me, I didn’t plan on sleeping out here,” he said, motioning to Anna’s limp body. She had migrated at some point during her slumber; her head was resting on his chest, her hair was covering her face, and her legs were sticking straight out as opposed to the curled up position they were in when she fell asleep. Luckily, the towel was mostly covering her.

“Why isn’t she wearing any clothes?”

“She went skinny dipping,” he shrugged. 

Elsa shook her head. “You must be exhausted.”

“You could say that again.”

“You should go inside and get some actual rest.”

“Easier said than done,” he chuckled, motioning to Anna again. “She kind of has me trapped here.”

“I could help you try to get her up,” she offered. “I can’t carry her upstairs, but perhaps you can if she’s not on top of you?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Do you think you could get her something to wear?”

Elsa nodded, and disappeared. A few moments later, she returned with a robe. She laid it over her sister, and then carefully slipped her lifeless arms into the sleeves. 

“You push and I pull?” She confirmed.

Kristoff nodded, and Elsa slid her hands under her sister’s arms, supporting her weight as Kristoff gently eased her off of him. Somehow she managed to mostly sleep through it, waking only to groan. After Kristoff stretched, he tied her robe closed, placed one arm under her knees and swept her up into his arms. Elsa draped one of her arms around his neck and placed the other one in her lap.

“Go on upstairs and go to bed, I’ll collect her clothes,” Elsa insisted.

Kristoff didn’t answer; he simply followed her directions and went into the house. Anna woke up when they were on the stairs. 

“Where am I?” She slurred, her eyes fluttering open.

“In your house,” he said. “Going to your room.”

Her head flopped against his chest. She raised her free arm. “What’s this?”

He looked down. “Your robe? To preserve your dignity.”

“I don’t have any dignity,” she remarked, as he set her down on her bed. 

He snorted. “Go back to sleep.”

She closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into the pillow. “Are you gonna stay with me?”

“Yeah, I’m going to stay,” he promised.

“Yay,” she cheered weakly. She scooted over slightly and patted the edge of the bed for him to join her.

“I’m gonna need a little more room than that,” he chuckled, brushing her hair out of her face. “Just stay where you are, I’ll go around to the other side.”

He closed her bedroom door and then kicked off his shoes before climbing into the bed. He snaked his arm around Anna's waist and pulled her close to him.

“I’m never drinking again,” she groaned, resting her arm on top of his and weaving their fingers together.

“That’s what you said last time.”

“I know, because it’s fun while you’re doing it,” she explained, her voice low. “It’s just not fun _afterwards_.” 

“The lack of sleep certainly doesn’t help,” he murmured into her hair. 

“No, it…” she started, but trailed off. 

He lifted his head up to peek at her face, and sure enough, she had passed out. Smiling slightly, he laid back down, exhaled, and closed his eyes, knowing that sleep would soon consume him, too.


End file.
